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I wrote a blog a year ago for Mother’s Day, and as I remembered myself who wrote it, I know for sure that it was not the same “me” right in this minute. I do not grow an inch taller, I do not grow one inch wider ( as I certainly told my Mirror to tell me this!! ha..ha..), and I certainly do not look any different on the surface from a year ago, well... except probably a wrinkle or two that I have come to deny it... However, I have grown miles and miles further from a year go especially in my within, my inside; I have added many more “songs” inside my heart. Along with those miles of growing, I know for sure I have contributed differently to the world around me, and for some people who are close to me, this growing irks them and glads them. As for me, this growing is a loving act that I have dedicated to myself, that I owe it to myself not just for now but for the rest of my existence as without the growing, I’ll be diminished and outdated.
I am not married, if you asked me why, I would not have the answer except a simple fact that its importance has never occurred to me. I do not have any children on my own, however, I have taught for 20 something years and truly feel that I have raised many, many children. Teaching and learning with my students are passions to me; hence, as many said that when you do what you love, you have never worked a day of your life, well... that is exactly how I am feeling. Being with my student is not working, is BEING; learning with my student is not working, is SIMPLIFYING....at least, to me...I can’t imagine my life without learning and teaching.
This year, 2016, my blog on Mother’s Day has come from the very many resources that existed, they are either somethings I came across of or had been recommended to me by other brave women that I am gladly encountered in my life. These women are Mothers, in many different forms...these women are the kind of women who admit the struggle of guilts between motherhood and career, women who admit the bitter sweet meaning of what being “a woman” is, and women who dare themselves to communicate by heart and through heart regardless of what society’s simplification of“ emotional, sensitive, and personal” means. Since the thoughts are plural, hence I am dividing this year’s blog into three different parts:
The first part is the most important part-- “As I Began To Love Myself.”
The second part is what I called “ Stop Being A Good Student!”
The final part is what I called “ Knock, And The Door Shall Open!”
Important Note: I am writing this to share with all of you of, mostly and yes, selfishly, my affirmation and of what I believe in as being an individual, a woman, a teacher, a mother, and forever as a student :) Yes, I am writing this to acknowledge that I am forever a student of life, and I can’t deny that I was born as a woman with the miraculous lists that come along with the attribute of “ a woman” in the most predominantly male world. Simone De Beauvoir in her book “ Le Deuxime Sexe ( Second Sex)”, that I first read when I was 17 years old, opened my belief that it is all about perspective, hence it depends on me whether I am satisfied as the “second sex” in this world, or shall I affirm my existence as “Simply MYSELF” in this world.
For All Women and For All Mother’s...The world will always send roses and bows to you for your ROLE as a “mother”, however, please do not misunderstand that those bows and roses will rarely come close to represent the true meaning and understanding of WHO you really are as a Mother. On that note, celebrate it as YOUR DAY, celebrate it as WHO YOU ARE AS A MOTHER AND NOT AS WHAT YOU ARE AS A MOTHER.
Charlie Chaplin, on his 70th birthday, decided to come to a clarification of himself and his life. He wrote this poem, which I put it in my room and is placed in front of me when I am writing, cooking, playing piano, dancing, “gym-ing”, feeling absolutely yuck or absolutely joyful, and the poem that I have it as one important note on my phone, you know like in case I feel like I need a support and love to myself while I am riding a subway or PATH or walk around...
Do note that if you “google” this poem, some people actually say that it was not Charlie Chaplin who wrote the poem. To me, it really does not matter who wrote it; what matters is and what I am thankful is that IT WAS WRITTEN :)
From Myself to Yourself....”HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY 2016” ( May 8, 2016)
“As I Began To Love Myself”
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living agains my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.
As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call is SIMPLICITY.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health--food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became as valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even starts collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!